The Wedding Reconsideration
by Tensor
Summary: What may have happened after Leonard's confession on the way to Vegas, in 8.24.
1. Prologue

**A/N: Finally was able to think about the finale. This should be four chapters, besides this prologue, and I'm done with three and a half of them, so I feel safe publishing this now. I'm shooting for every five to seven days between new chapters. I want to thank Zhalen for looking over the rough drafts.**

 **Prologue**

The silence in the car was deafening. Leonard was grateful that they were continuing toward Las Vegas, but was worried that Penny hadn't said a word to him since her "don't push it" over an hour ago. She had simply been silent, since she uttered those words, looking out the passenger side window, except for the two times she reached into the back seat for her purse. He had heard several sniffles and assumed that she had been crying, and was getting a tissue out to dab the tears from her eyes.

He had been trying to think through the whole thing, however the traffic wouldn't let him. While it wasn't bumper to bumper, the weekend traffic heading east on Interstate 15 was heavy enough to force him to concentrate on it, instead of his problem. Not so much on the road, but on the other drivers. One car had changed lanes in front of him, then it's brake lights had come on, forcing him to swerve to the lane to his right.

Another car had almost sideswiped him, when it changed lanes, again causing him to swerve to his right. He was thankful that there hadn't been any other cars in the right lane when his swerved. After that, he decided it would be best to leave the thinking to after their arrival, not while driving. However, if the traffic cleared for a bit, he had difficulty keeping his mind from thinking about it. He knew better than to say anything, he would have to let Penny start the conversation.

Two hours later, the car pulled up to the main entrance on the north side of the Wynn, the trunk popped open and Leonard exited from the drivers side. He started walking over to a luggage trolley, but a bellhop was quicker, pulling one toward the rear of the car. Leonard watched as the bellhop moved the four bags from the trunk onto the trolley. Leonard passed the keys to the parking valet, while swiveling his head around, looking for Penny. It wasn't until after the valet gave him his parking receipt that he finally noticed that she was still in the car.

He walked to passenger door, opened it, and waited for her to get out. She continued to stare straight ahead, with no emotion in her face. After quite a few seconds, he started tapping his fingers on the door, and at that, there was an audible sigh from her and she finally left the car. Ignoring Leonard, she quickly walked through the doors of the hotel, leaving Leonard at the car. He shook his head, closed the door, and headed in after her, the bellhop pulling their luggage into the hotel behind him.

Leonard was looking around the lobby for Penny. He could see the lights of the casino beyond the lobby and the sound of coins dropping and slot machines ringing reached his ears. He continued looking around and finally found her near the registration area, leaning against a large column, watching the various people checking in. Walking up to her, he asked, a bit sarcastically, "Do you want to come with me to check in?"

She shook her head and turned away from him. He felt anger rising and he was about to say something to her, but stopped. He decided it was better to wait until they got to the room, rather than discussing it(or arguing about it, more likely he thought) in the lobby. Leaving her standing there, he looked and saw a hostess who was not checking someone in, and went to her location at the counter.

"May I help you, sir?" she asked.

He looked at her name tag, reading her name, Alice. _Figures_ , he thought. _Maybe it's a good thing Penny didn't come to the counter with me._

"I have a reservation," he said. "The name is Hofstadter." He spelled it for her as he he passed along his credit card and drivers license.

The woman typed his name in, waiting for his reservation to come up. When it did, she noticed that it was for a suite and the additional annotation that they were planning on finding a wedding chapel. She smile at Leonard, looking for his partner. Not seeing one, she asked, "The notes tell me you are here to get married Mr. Hofstadter, do you want us to provide a wedding package for your room sir?"

Leonard grimaced, "Not right now."

"Would you like me to get you a concierge to help you with locating a wedding chapel?" she continued.

"No," snapped Leonard. "I'll ask for one when I'm ready."

Her smile slipped a bit, and she fell silent as she entered the information, only speaking again when she asked for the license number, of his car. Leonard gave that to her and waited as she she finished entering the information. She handed back his two cards and also two red cards, the "keys" to their room. She explained how the cards worked as keys, how they could be used to charge things to the room, at the various shops and at the restaurants within the hotel, then gave him a map, while also explaining how to to get to the elevators.

Leonard said, "Thank you." He started to walk away, but stopped and turned back to her, "Errr, listen, I'm sorry I snapped at you, we've been driving for five hours, in traffic and I'm just a bit tired."

"No problem sir," she said, smiling. "Thank you for your apology. We don't always get those."

Leonard smiled back at her, nodded his head and turned to walk toward Penny. He gave the bellhop the room number, one of the cards to Penny, then they both followed the bellhop to the elevator.

It didn't take very long as Leonard felt his ears pop. _These things are fast_ , he thought as the door opened. The bellhop led them out of the elevator and down the hallway, stopping in front of their room.

Leonard stepped forward, opened the door, then stepped back, allowing the bellhop to roll the trolley through the foyer and into what he told Leonard and Penny was the living area. Leaving the trolley he gave them a brief tour of the bathroom, then the bedroom, along with instruction on how to open the drapes.

The bellhop led them back to the living room, where he unloaded their luggage onto the floor, near the desk. He pulled the empty trolley toward the door of the room, with Leonard following him. Leonard got a brief explanation on how the bar worked, then the bellhop opened a door that led to another toilet. Afterward, he pulled the trolley through the door to the room, Leonard stopped him, passed along a tip, and closed the door.

He took a deep breath, going over in his mind what he wanted to say to her before turning and walking into the living room, to find her sitting on the sofa. Looking at her, he said, "Penny, I want…", but Penny interrupted him.

"Leonard, I'm going to take a shower," she said. She got up, grabbed her toiletry bag, and headed toward the bathroom.

"Hold on Penny…" Leonard started again.

"Leonard," she snapped, "I don't want to talk right now." Leaving him standing there, she walked to the bathroom, and just before entering, looked back at him. "Just leave me along for now. I'm getting a shower, anything else can wait until I'm done." She turned and walked through the door, closing it. Leonard could hear the click of the lock.

The frustration on Leonard's face was evident, but he didn't say anything. He walked over to the bar, opened the fridge and pull out a beer. As he returned to the living room, he twisted off the cap, and took a large drink. He sat on one end of the couch and turned on the TV. He wasn't paying attention though, he was trying to gather his thoughts and make sense of the situation, in which he now found himself.


	2. Chapter 1 Thoughts:Leonard

**A/N As most of my readers know, my health can sometimes be problematic. Over the last 2-3 weeks, I've been struggling with a Fibromyalgia flare up. When this happens, I struggle to concentrate, and/or have a hard time staying on task. The result was a delay in getting this chapter out. My apologies.**

 **Chapter One. Thoughts: Leonard**

Leonard took another drink, setting the bottle on the table. _How did it come to this_ , he wondered? _We had a really fun day, even thought it was pretty stupid to visit the petting zoo, after getting the vegetables. It was so much fun spending the entire day with just Penny, and that doesn't happen that often. During the week, we're usually around Sheldon, or in a group with all of our friends. What was really great was she was the one who suggested it._

 _Everything moved fast after getting back to the apartment. The discussion with Sheldon, Penny suggesting we come to Las Vegas to get married and then the rush to get packed and leave, while I was trying to make reservations. The first two hours of the trip were fun as we mostly made small talk, but we were both so excited. We talked about our history and how we got to this point. We were both laughing about it, looking forward to our suite, looking for a chapel and getting married._

But, through all this, Leonard felt a vague feeling of unease. _For some reason this just doesn't feel right, I wish I could pinpoint where that feeling was coming from._ _Was that the reason I opened my mouth, confessing about the kiss? Was I really trying to sabotage the marriage?_ For the rest of the trip, that comment from Penny kept coming back to him. _I guess part of it was Penny marrying Zack here in Vegas. Yes, I know it was a silly mistake on her part, and it was annulled. Was it simply that I didn't want to marry Penny on some lark, like her and Zack had._ He felt ashamed, when he first thought of it, along with thinking it was a bit unfair. _After all, we are engaged, but for some reason it still feels like a lark._

A new thought occurred to him, causing a moment of sadness to wash over him. _I don't know if Penny really fells the same now, as she did when we got engage a year ago. It didn't take her long to cut off my first two proposals, like she had no problem with the way things were and she seemed upset with me both times. When she proposed that first time, I didn't say yes right away. But I knew she was drunk and she was feeling sad, as if her life was falling apart. It would haven't been fair to her, even though she got so upset. I felt so relieved, so…so vindicated, the next day when she had told him me I had done the right thing_.

 _After she got fired from that monkey movie, she proposed to me again. While she may have been questioning her life again, at least I knew she wasn't drunk. She managed to convince me that it wasn't just her settling, that she really did love me, really wanted to be married to him. It was a good thing I had put the ring back in my wallet._ He smiled at that thought.

The smile quickly faded as he thought of Penny's finances. _From a poor waitress and non-working actor last year, to star pharmaceutical rep, who was investing more money that he was making, this year._ _It got to the point where her company gave her company car, and with that she didn't need the car I bought her. She no longer needed that car and got rid of it. Did she no longer need and was going to get rid of me?_ _It was great that she didn't need to depend on me to get by anymore, and it really doesn't bother me that she makes more money than me. What did bother me was she didn't tell me about her investments. We're engaged and shouldn't she have told me about it? Did she want to tell me? Maybe she didn't even need him anymore? Hmmmmmm, does the same apply to him? Do I need her anymore?_

 _Dammit, yes I do need her. I really do love her, but I don't know if she loves me. Maybe my telling her about the kiss in the car was my way of putting it out there that I'm having second thoughts? Second thoughts are normal, aren't they? I don't know. I though I had gotten past all these things before. Just because I'm having second thoughts doesn't mean we shouldn't get married, does it?_ Leonard finished off the beer, put the bottle on the table and walked over to the bar. He opened the refrigerator, pulled out another beer, opened it and walked back to the couch.

He himself was devastated that he had hurt Penny, as badly as he knew he had. _Since we met, I never wanted anyone else, even when I was dating someone else. It had always been her since she moved in, what in the hell was I thinking to tell her about that kiss now?_ By the sound of those sniffles in the car, he knew from experience that she had been crying, and it was his fault.

His thought, _Dammit Leonard, how could you do that to her?_ Was quickly followed by another, _I did the right thing by telling her, I wouldn't want to start our marriage with something like that hidden from her._ But he now realized he hadn't thought it though, which was why he was in this situation now. _I'm an idiot, I knew Penny's been cheated on before, and hurt deeply by it. She always trusted me. I could have told her so long ago, why didn't I, and why did I tell her now? Am I really so afraid of getting married to her that I would sabotage getting married?_

Suddenly it occurred to him that they hadn't talked even talked about the marriage since the engagement. No dates for the wedding, no reception plans, no honeymoon. Was it that she didn't want to get rid of him, that she was just afraid of getting married also? _Oh sure, there were those two minor things._ _Our brief admission of our fears, but we smoothed that over. Our argument about the money, which went away after watching Bernadette and Howard._ _But, why tell her about the now? Dammit Leonard quit overthinking this._

But he couldn't help it, he realized it all came back to the same questions he'd been asking himself since his return _. Why didn't I tell her about it as soon as I came back? Why, even after I'd been home for several months, didn't I tell her?_ He knew the answer to both questions immediately, and he was going to have to tell her that also. Right after returning home, he knew Penny was still sensitive about that incident, almost a year after it happened. He sighed as he imagined the damage from telling her getting worse, the reason he was in this mess, the kiss.

He had been introduced to the person leading the data reduction team. He was so startled when they were introduced, that she giggled at his reaction, although she didn't know reason he reacted the way he did. She was going to lead the data reduction team, taking the data from Leonard's laser runs, and, as a result, they were to be working rather closely together. At the first get together of the science group, Leonard had told everyone, including her, about Penny, even later showed some of them Penny's movie. She told Leonard about her boyfriend in London, how he was working on his PhD and how they were talking about getting engaged, then she got the offer for this trip, putting off the engagement.

Leonard and her seemed to click, which was good as they saw each other several times a day, working on the various problems with the measurement of the experiments, or how they could improve their work. They would meet at dinner, talking about the work and had talked several times during on-board parties. It felt very natural to Leonard, spending time with her talking over problems, or Leonard talking about Penny, she talking about her boyfriend. Although the loneliness would have made it easy for them, they avoided getting involved physically, unlike several other couples they knew. They were too connected to each of their partners, to think about it.

They thought about each other as someone to talk things over with when there was a physics problem, or someone to cheer the other up when they were feeling down. They enjoyed talking to each other and had some similar interests. Getting close to each other emotionally just happened, without them even realizing it.

Then came THAT party. Leonard wasn't even drinking, he had been feeling down for a couple of weeks after talking to Penny. He had felt bad as he had been dancing and doing shots and had accidentally hung up on her. Though he had called her the next day to apologize and she had forgiven him, it still weighed on him. He had been looking forward to the party, but the ship had hit rough weather and he had been feeling seasick all day. He tried to eat dinner but couldn't finish and afterward, the feeling of nauseousness kept getting worse and worse.

Arriving at the party, he just drank water and sat off to the side, talking to several of his closer shipmates. When she came to the party, she sat at his table, and he apologized, in advance, for not being talkative as he had been seasick all day. As they talked, he suddenly had run out of the closest door, and onto the deck, reaching the railing just in time to throw up over it. He felt like he had emptied his stomach into the sea, then found a bench and sat down. She suddenly appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, with two cups of water in one hand, and a cigarette in the other. He gratefully accepted her offer of one of the cups of water, smiling at her.

He used some of the water to wash out his mouth several times, then drank the rest of the water. She handed him the other cup and told him she had seen him run out and knowing he was seasick, though he might be throwing up, so she got the cups of water for him. She took a puff from the cigarette as he took a gulp of the second cup, looking back at her. She took a final puff from her cigarette and then casually tossed it over the railing, watching him. He thanked her, taking another drink, as they continued looking at each other.

Suddenly, he realized they were kissing, never, to this day, quite sure how it had started. As the kiss deepend, their mouths opened and their tongues met. As his tongue ran over hers, he could taste the smoke. _Ugh, this isn't all that good, I'm glad Penny doesn't smoke._ His mind suddenly went into overdrive. _Penny? PENNY? Oh god no, Penny._

He broke the kiss, pushing her away. Looking at her, he could see the shock and fear in her expression. Leonard felt like a jerk, but he probably had the same expression on his face. "I'm sorry" he said. "I'm sorry, sorry, I have Penny" he kept repeating it as he back away. She nodded and he turned, running back to his bunk. As he laid there he kept whispering "No, no." until he fell asleep.

For the rest of the trip, they really didn't talk again outside of work. The avoided each other so as not have to talk about it, both feeling ashamed. At work it was strictly data, or experiments, no small talk. Leonard was relieved no one else on the ship seemed to know. _No small feat_ , he thought, _considering how close everyone was and how small the ship was._

Now, as he thought about it, he knew what the whole problem was. _What were the odds that there would be a redhead named Alex Jensen on the ship, even though it wasn't the same one?_ He put his second empty bottle on the table. He looked up at the ceiling, resting his head on the back of the couch, wondering how all of this was going to turn out.


	3. Chapter 2 Thoughts:Penny

**A/N It's been two years, so you many want to review the prologue and the first chapter, before reading this. Explanation for the long break in finishing this, is at the end.**

Chapter 2 (Penny's thoughts)

She had locked herself in the bathroom. Penny needed some time alone to process this whole thing. Turning on the faucet and pouring in some of the bath oil she found provided by the hotel, she checked the temperature with her hand and let it start filling the tub.

She took off her blouse, then stopped, looking at it. It was the same blouse she had on when they got engaged a year ago. She remembered the thrill she felt when Leonard pulled the ring out of his wallet, completely surprising her. She felt herself smile and started removing the rest of her clothes.

She put them on the vanity, then tied up her hair in back. _It's getting longer, she thought. I like it shorter, with my job, it's easier to keep it neat. Maybe I'll let it grow a bit more, Leonard likes it longer…_

Longer? _Did that other woman have longer hair…is that why he kissed her?_ And with that, her anger returned. Yes, she told him to keep going, but it still upset her, to the point where tears started forming again. She grabbed a tissue, wiping her eyes, and blowing her nose. Tossing the tissue into the trash, she turned the faucet off, and settled down, into the tub, letting the warm water settle over her

 _How dare he do this to me, he knew how much I've been hurt by cheating._ _He knew about all the guys who had cheated on me._ She was getting more and more angry, her hands gripped the washcloth, twisting it as her anger increased.

 _Coming home to find Kurt in our bed with that other woman, I was crushed after four years with him. It took almost two years, to finally quit thinking about getting back together with him. And Mike, I found him in bed with another woman less than a half hour after breaking up with him. Hell, he didn't have time to go anywhere to pick her up. The only thing that could have happened was he had to have been already cheating on me and must have called her over after I left._

 _Who else? Oh yeah, there was…was…what was that bastard's name. Well, whatever the hell his name was, I found him and Gretchen, that bitch, in his bed. An evil grin appeared on Penny's lips. I hope to hell he met someone along the way and ended up cheating on her. If there's any justice they're divorced by now._

But, all that was in her past. Leonard and her had worked through most of their problems, or at least they both knew about them. She had tried to be supportive, although she was sad about his leaving for the North Sea. She remembered her fear of him having sex while he was gone, but had dismissed that as something he wouldn't do. That gut-wrenching feeling when Sheldon brought it up, and all her fears came back to her. It was so easy to forget about it once he got back early.

Suddenly her anger well up and she threw the washcloth at the mirror near the dual sinks. _Dammit, how could he do this?_ Again the tears started, and she realized she thought that Leonard would confess something like this…

 _Priya, he cheated on Priya,_ Penny thought. _He came to me for advice on how to cheat on Priya, dammit. He said he wanted to be that kind of guy. And, now he is. Hell, he wanted to keep seeing me as a friend, while lying to Priya about it. And Alex, he didn't tell me about Alex. That son-of-a-bitch, I wouldn't have found out about that if it hadn't been for Sheldon. Balls, I should have known he could do something like this. He's done this all this before, and I was there for all of it._

 _I should have seen all of this coming, I had all the hints that he would do something like this. Why did I tell him to keep going, I should have told him to turn around right after he told me._ She paused for a second as her thoughts became all jumbled up and more tears formed.

She thought about the other guys. _Kurt did nothing but use me. Taking my money to pay the bills, he said, when all he was doing was working out, talking about being a trainer. All those little clues that he was seeing someone else._ A sudden though occurred to her, _did that bastard use my money to go out with other women. I can't believe I stayed with Kurt, even after finding those things, and I kept going back even after I caught him._

 _With Mike, all he wanted to do was to come over to my apartment or go to his so we could have sex. If I wanted to go out to a movie or dinner, I ended up paying for most of it. All he wanted to do was to have sex when ever and where ever we were. And now I know why, it was so embarrassing seeing our sex life described in detail._

 _And…and…damn it all to hell, what was his name, whatever, he insisted I move Gretchen into his spare room, because it would help her. Yeah, help her to be closer to him dammit, why didn't I see that?_

 _But, Leonard,_ she thought _was always helping her. Paying for food, utility bills, even her rent a couple of times. And he never bugged her about it. Even after I dumped him in front of everybody, he would still help me. I've treated him so badly at different times, and he still loves me. I thought he didn't think I'd make it as actress, but he bought me that car, so I could keep doing it._

 _Do I really want to throw all this away, just because he kissed someone, someone he probably won't see again anyway? Especially as I don't know they details of why. It might be different it we had been married. But we weren't married…Hell, we weren't even engaged, I turned him down several times. Maybe we should have gotten married before he left, like Bernadette suggested, and we wouldn't have this problem, but we didn't._

 _This almost feels like that time with that bitch Alex, oh god she still pisses me off. I feel like I'm loosing him, just like when they met. Her hitting on him and him not knowing I saw it. Or when she did hit on him, and I got so insecure about it. He made me feel better about it then, and I know he can make me feel better about this. I just need to know more about the kiss._

 _And, besides,_ _I don't think I want to get married here though, now that I've thought about it. That thing with Zack would always be hanging over me. It would be a reminder of that, and I don't want to think of Zack, when I think of marrying Leonard. We need to set a date and plan a proper wedding._

 _But, before we do, we also need to clear some things up. We were so close before he left, and, except for that month and a half Sheldon was gone, it doesn't feel like we've ever been that close since he got back. We've had some moments, but nothing like we had just before he left._

 _And if he can be honest about kissing someone, I can be honest about letting him know some things. I have to tell him what happened with Raj. He doesn't know the full story about that. I promised Raj I wouldn't say anything, but he's mentioned it several times, I think it's time I told Leonard what really happened._

 _And, more importantly, I wasn't really honest with him about Cole. I told him he was just a friend. But I finally figured out that he thought I was leading him on, when he started hitting on me. I have to tell Leonard the whole story. If Leonard can be honest about a kiss, than I can be honest about that, even though we never even kissed._

She leaned back, sinking into the water. She sighed, closed her eyes and let the water relax her.

 **A/N I started this almost two years ago. I was hoping it would be finished before the show came back to start season nine. But, health issues kept me from finishing. Then, I was unhappy with the way the show depicted the wedding, the resolution to the kiss, and the show in general.**

 **So I left it. I had no intention of abandoning it, but I wasn't in a mood to write the story or anything to do with TBBT. That broke down last fall, and I have been writing since (even some non-fan fic). I finally made it back to this one and, as I had most of it outlined, and parts written, and I went with that, instead of trying to make changes based on how the show went. There are a few bits that we have found out since the wedding, and if they didn't mess with the story, I included them.**

 **Anyway, chapters three and four are written, four needs editing, and I'm about half way done with the epilogue, so it will be finished by the end of next week. Then I'll be starting on the second part of "The In-Law Initiation", the part where Leonard and Penny go to Nebraska.**


	4. Chapter 3 Talk: Leonard

**A/N This chapter is longer than the earlier ones, as will be chapter 4. I suppose I should put a disclaimer in here. I don't own any of these characters, well the guys delivering the food, but they don't have any dialogue, so I guess it's not that big of deal.**

Chapter 3

Penny slowly sat up, her upper body rising out of the water. It had been relaxing, but she knew she was still not happy and had to ask Leonard some questions, but this was just what she needed to calm down. She washed up, and rinsed off with the hand shower, washed her hair and started draining the tub. She reached for the large towel and dried herself off. Sitting at the makeup table, she dried her hair with built in hair dryer, her short hair taking only a couple of minutes to dry.

Looking around, she swore softly to herself, she hadn't gotten any clothes from her bag, and her bag was still out in the main room. After unlocking the door, she opened it, intending to look to see where her bag was. The door stopped after opening about eight inches. She looked down and saw her bag, right there. She smiled thinking, _isn't that just like Leonard._

She reached down and pulled the bag into the bathroom and opened it. She grabbed a pair of panties, pulled out a pink top and a pair of jeans. After putting the clothes on, she pulled some other things out of the bag. Sitting at the counter, she put some product in her hair, then brushed it out, until it was, in her mind, just right. Some eyeliner, a few quick swipes of her lashes, and she was ready.

She walked out of the bathroom, looking for Leonard . She heard the TV in the main room, and headed that way, finding him seated near one end of the couch, his head resting on the back of the couch, he was asleep. She noticed two bottles of beer on the table in front of him, although she didn't know if they were both empty. Walking to the back of the couch, she leaned over and kissed him softly on the lips.

He didn't move, although his mouth did open and close a few times. She chuckled at him, leaning over to kiss him again, her lips lingering for a bit longer. This time, his lips responded, but at that, Penny straightened up. His eyes fluttered open, and he smiled at her, which changed to a worried look, as he remembered how short she was, with him, as she made her way to the bathroom earlier.

Penny put her hand on his cheek, "It's OK Leonard, I've calmed down. Well, at least calm enough to talk about it."

Leonard swallowed and nodded his head.

"But," she said seriously, "I'm still upset and we do need to talk about this."

Again, he nodded, "What specifically? Do you want to know about the kiss?"

"Yes, I do," she said. Penny walked around the couch, considering where to sit. She couldn't bring herself to sit next to him, due to her uncertainty about the situation. She decided on sitting near the center of the couch, not all the way on the other end, far away from him. She paused for a few seconds while she considered how to start.

After several seconds of silence, she said, "First, I have some questions. You may not have answers, but if you don't, I want you to at least think about them OK?"

"Sure, anything," he said.

She looked sharply at him, at which he lowered his eyes. "After you came back," She began, "there were a couple of weeks where we all over each other. After that I got the feeling that something was different. Before you left, we were so close, things were going so well. But, after those first couple of weeks, we didn't seem so close."

Leonard looked puzzled, "In what way?"

Suddenly, she was unsure of herself as it was a feeling, not something she could specifically point to, "I…I…um…Well we fought a bit more…remember that scavenger hunt? You believed Bernadette when she said I was calling you a pussy. We didn't stay over as much, we weren't spending very much time alone. There was that mess when my part was cut and I quit waitressing. It felt like you provided no support for me. Oh, you explained you couldn't do, but I should, but still I didn't get the impression you were all that supportive."

"Wait a minute," said Leonard, "I bought you a car, so you didn't have to go back to the Cheesecake Factory."

"Yes, you did," she paused for a few seconds. "And that led to us fighting later on. After we got engaged, Sheldon left and with just us, it was wonderful, things were again going so well, but, again, we didn't talk about the wedding."

"Then he got back and it seems like everything stopped, we weren't moving forward at all." She sounded sad. "We still weren't talking about the wedding, but now, we weren't even staying in each others bed every night. Now I find out about you kissing another woman and wonder if that was why everything was so off."

Leonard jumped up, "No, no, no! That was not the reason."

"Leonard, things weren't the same," said Penny. "It seems like the only time we were together was when we with the rest of the group. Oh, I know we spent time alone, but it was very much. Truthfully Leonard, was it because of the kiss?"

"No, it wasn't. Am I having second thoughts? Yes, I am." He could see the hurt on her face. He sat back down, "But I still want to marry you. I told you before, that I want to hold your hand and go through it with you."

Penny didn't look convinced.

"Penny, you have to believe me," Leonard said, almost pleadingly. "It had nothing to do with the kiss. Yes, there's a story behind it, but it really has nothing to do with us. And, the last couple of years…I don't know. The first couple of weeks back, we were all excited at being together again. But after that, it was like we had to get reacquainted. We did and it was wonderful. Finding out you were married to Zack messed with me for a while.

Then there was that mess with your acting. I want you to know it wasn't because I wasn't being supportive. I was afraid of you getting hurt or failing and not taking it well. But I did support you. I mentioned the car, but I also get Wil Wheaton to come and talk to you."

"Yeah, you did," she said, "not that it was much of a help."

"That may be true, but, I was trying," said Leonard. "Also during that time, you seemed to be struggling with your decision to concentrate on acting. You were holding out for the right part, not wanting to take smaller parts. But, you weren't bringing in any money, and when I mentioned it, you got all defensive about it."

Penny was looking at him, her eyes narrowed.

Leonard ignored the look. "I also struggled with how your proposals were always after things were falling apart for you. Like the only reason you wanted me was because you had nothing else. You said you wanted to wait because your brother was going to get out of jail. Well, we found out six months ago he would be getting out in July, but you didn't mention anything about the wedding. That made it seem as if you didn't want to get married anymore. That's when I started to wonder. You had turned me down when I proposed, several times. Complaining that during sex wasn't right, or that you had other issues."

"I remembered about you selling the car I got you," said Leonard. "I'm going to tell you, that hurt. Especially when you wouldn't keep the money, as that was a gift. Then I find out that you have an investment guy and are making way more money than I was. That would be something I would have expected you tell to me, after all, we were engaged."

He paused for a second, worried about how she was going to take this, but it came out almost accusatory.

If you had all that, I was thinking the reason you gave back the care and weren't talking about the wedding, was because you…you…" she could hear his voice break, "didn't want to get married anymore."

"NO!" she said. "You can't think that way. None of that is true, of course I want to marry you. I suggested coming up here didn't I?"

Although he didn't mean it the way it sounded, but the bitterness was obvious, "Yes, yes you did. But, you never said a word about the wedding. It's supposed to be one of a woman's biggest days of her life, and you didn't say anything so…"

Penny cut in, "Then why didn't you bring up anything about the wedding?"

"I was simply planning on doing whatever you wanted for the wedding," said Leonard. "And when you didn't say anything, it made me feel unsure."

"But I never thought of it that way," said Penny. "I was always thinking I wasn't good enough for YOU. You didn't say anything, so I just let it go, afraid to bring it up. I know people who never do get married, and with you not mentioning it, I thought maybe you were happy with the way things were."

"I wasn't, but was waiting for you."

"So I suggest getting married," Penny said. "We leave to get married, it was something you wanted, so why bring up the kiss, just when we were going to get married?"

"I though about it tonight, and I think I brought it up because of my second thoughts about it. I think it was my way of letting you see I was worried."

"Worried?" said Penny, her voice squeaking. "You tell me you cheated to let me know you're worries about getting married? That's a bullshit reason, Leonard." She exploded. "That's not because you were worried. Don't you get it. You were telling me you cheated on me. CHEATED".

Leonard flinched.

Penny continued, anger still in her voice, "Something you did on Priya, if I remember correctly. You were asking me how to go about sleeping with this other girl…what was her name?"

"Alice," Leonard answered immediately.

Penny raised her eyebrows at that.

"But, I did.…"

"I see you didn't forget her," Penny interrupted. "So, you were trying to get me to approve of you screwing Alice, while you were still with Priya. Was she worth it Leonard? Did you enjoy you time with her. It appears that you have turned into 'one of those guys'. God, I was so blind, I should have seen this coming."

"I didn't screw Alice," said Leonard in a tight voice.

"What?"

"I said I didn't screw Alice," said Leonard forcefully. "Look, I asked you about it, because I was feeling so guilty. You didn't seem so worked up about it at the time. Was it OK then."

Penny's eyes flared, but she didn't say anything.

Leonard continued, "Yes, I was trying to find a way around it. After talking to you, I talked to Sheldon and he mentioned something that I thought made it all right to go. But, when I went, and we started making out again, I couldn't bring myself to go through with it."

"What?" Penny said again, sounding puzzled.

"I didn't go through with it," said Leonard. "What is so hard to understand about that? There was just kissing, then I stopped it."

A chuckle escaped from Penny before she could stop it. When Leonard looked at her strangely, she said, "You used the same words to tell me… just kissing, then you stopped it." She chuckled again, "Well it appears that you do think about what you're doing."

He looked at her sheepishly, "Yeah, I did, and I do."

"What did she do then?" asked Penny.

Leonard chuckled, "She threw me out." He became serious, "I came right home and called Priya, to confess, to tell her I was sorry, that it wouldn't happen again. That's when she told me she had sex with her ex-boyfriend."

"What?"

"Yeah, that's why we broke up," said Leonard. "I stopped, she didn't, and I couldn't get over it."

"I didn't know that Leonard," said Penny softly. "We weren't talking all that much after that thing with me and R…" She stopped herself and continued in another direction, " All I knew is you broke up with her, but not why."

"I know," said Leonard. "And now this kiss. So I can see why you…"

She sighed, "OK, Leonard. Tell me about it."

"Are you sure you want to know?"

"I don't need to know the details of the kiss," said Penny, "but I want your thoughts."

"I'm getting hungry," said Leonard. "So how about we order something from room service, eat dinner, then we'll continue."

"That's a good idea," said Penny nodding. "I'm getting hungry, too."

"I'm also going to get a shower," said Leonard, "before the food gets here."

They looked over the menu, Leonard picked out a sandwich and fries, Penny a salad, Leonard then walked over to the phone and ordered, while Penny went to fridge to get a beer. After getting off the phone, he said, "It's going to be about a half hour, I'm going to get a shower." Holding the beer, she nodded. Leonard grabbed socks and underwear, and headed to the bathroom.

Twenty minutes later he was back, he hair wet and ruffled. He walked to the fridge and got a bottle of water, took a swig out of it and headed back to the bathroom. Penny soon heard the hairdryer and shortly he emerged with his hair reasonably dry and brushed. He went to his luggage, took out some clean clothes, leaving the clothes he had just taken off inside his bag. He had just finished getting dressed when there was a knock on the door.

Leonard walked to the door and opened it. There was a man with the cart, which he brought in when Leonard moved aside. He put their plates on the table, asked if they needed anything else and when they said they were fine. Leonard then signed for the food, added a good tip to it, and the man left.

They were silent while they slowly ate, their only comments were about the view. They could see south along the strip, and the pirate show at the Mirage, across the street, was just starting. They watched the show while they ate, the only sound coming through the large windows were the "BOOMS" whenever the cannon when off. After finishing, Leonard pushed the cart out into the hall.

The sat on the couch, Penny choosing to sit away from him, again in the center, but not all the way to the other end. She looked at him and said seriously, "OK, Leonard, we've eaten, it's time to talk about this."

Leonard nodded, he was silent, trying to figure out how he was going to tell her. He decided the truth about the whole matter was the best thing he could do.

He took a deep breath, then started, "When I got there, I was introduced to her as the person who was leading the team that was going to go through the data I collected, at first I was startled…"

"Why?"

"Let's leave that for the end, OK?" said Leonard.

Penny looked at him piercingly, but nodded.

"Over the weeks, I guess we got pretty close." Leonard paused again.

"Did you tell her you had a girlfriend?"

"Penny," said Leonard, "if you keep asking questions, I'll never get through this. But, yes, she knew I had a girlfriend, and just so you know, she told me about her almost fiancé. They had put off getting engaged until she got back to London."

Penny nodded, but said, "So what do you mean by close? Physically? Emotionally? What?"

"When I mean close," said Leonard, "she was someone I could talk to about problems with the data or with the experiment. Or, when I was feeling really down because I was away from you, or missing you, she would try to cheer me up."

"I would return the favor and try to cheer her up, when she missed her boyfriend. We always talked a few times a day, about the experiment, or the data, or about you and her boyfriend. We just became the other person's confidant. I guess you could say we became close emotionally, but nothing happened physically until the kiss."

"As for the kiss," Leonard looked down, but continued, "I had been sea sick most of the day. But, you didn't miss a party if you could, it was a way to release the stress of working six days a week, and you could see people you might not see during the week."

"Like my bunkmate, he worked at night. By the time he got off, I was asleep and he was sleeping when I left for work, so we didn't get to talk all that much, except on Sundays and at the parties."

"Anyway, I went, and I just got sicker and sicker, I finally had to run out on deck and threw up over the railing. She saw me run out, and so she came out to have a cigarette and check on me. She knew I had been sick, and figured I had run out to throw up, so she brought me a couple of cups of water."

"I rinsed out my mouth with one, and drank the other, while we sat out there and talked. We talked for fifteen, twenty minutes, I don't know, and suddenly I realized we were kissing."

Penny snorted, then said angrily, "Suddenly you were kissing? You'll pardon me if I don't believe you on how it started."

Leonard put his head in his hands. "I don't blame you," he muttered, "but, it's the truth. I don't know if I started it, or she started it, or we both moved toward each other…I…I…I just don't know, I just realized we were kissing."

Penny said very sarcastically, "When did you realize it wasn't me?"

Leonard looked up, "You really want to know?"

"Yes," said Penny tightly, "I do."

"OK," said Leonard as he looked down, "when our tongues met."

Penny's eyes narrowed, but she didn't say anything.

"I could taste the smoke from her cigarettes," said Leonard, "and thought how glad I was that you didn't smoke. That's when it kicked in that I wasn't kissing you. I stopped it and pushed her away as soon as I realized that. From the look on her face, she was just as horrified, guilty, whatever you want to call it, as I was. I ran to my bunk and just kept repeating "no, no, no" until I fell asleep. We didn't talk outside of work for the rest of the trip, and even at work we were short with each other." He paused for a second, the said softly, "I did say goodbye to her."

Penny was still upset, but now she was uncertain. _That doesn't sound all that bad. Why would he hide that from me?_ "OK, Leonard," said Penny, "not sure why you would hide that from me for two years, that doesn't sound like that big of a deal. Is it because she was prettier than me?"

Leonard shook his head, "No, she was not prettier than you."

"Then she was smarter than me,"

Leonard looked at her, and she could see the guilt all over his face.

"That's it, isn't it?" asked Penny.

"Well, she has a PhD, but that wasn't it either."

"What is it then? Tell me," she demanded.

Leonard swallowed, this was going to be difficult, "You remember how I said I was startled, when we were introduced?"

"Yeah?"

"Well,…uh…see…"

"Come on Leonard, just tell me," said Penny sharply.

"Well, she was dark redhead, about your height," said Leonard.

"And…so?"

"Her name was Alex Jensen." Leonard flinched, waiting for the eruption from Penny, he wasn't disappointed.

"What?" asked Penny, her voice getting louder. "You mean to tell me that bitch was on the ship, and you kissed her?"

"No, no, no," said Leonard, "it was not THAT Alex Jensen. It was a different Alex Jensen."

"Oh, like that really matters," yelled Penny. "You couldn't resist her, could you. Redhead, name, science, you were just reliving those good feelings, of having two women chasing you, weren't you?" Penny stood up, heading for the bedroom. "You can sleep out here tonight. Don't bother coming in the bedroom." Penny turned, walked into the bedroom and slammed the door.

Leonard watched her leave, and saw the door slam. He knew better than to chase after her. She would cool down, feel bad, and want to talk about it, but probably not until tomorrow morning. He looked in the closet behind the couch and found a blanket. He turned off the lights, turned on the TV and randomly watched some shows. It got late and using a couple of pillows from the couch laid down. His mind was turning over everything, and it took quite a while before he was finally able to fall asleep.


	5. Chapter 4 Talk: Penny

Chapter four

 **A/N One more to go, the next will be a bit lighter.**

Penny quietly came out of the bedroom, looking for Leonard. It had been a rough night for her, crying at times, cursing at times, both of which had caused her to have trouble getting to sleep. She found him on the couch again, this time lying down, covered with a blanket, but like last time, still asleep. Looking down at him, she felt a rush of love. _Yes, I still need to talk to him, but I've got my own secrets I need to tell him. And, I've also got to give him credit, he did stop. I'm just going to have to work though this._

She decided they should eat first, then talk. She walked back into the bedroom and called room service. She ordered eggs, sausage, french toast, orange juice for Leonard, and milk for herself. She asked for various condiments, and most important of all, two pots of coffee.

She sat down in the chair, to wait for the food. She was watching Leonard sleep, as she tried to get things straight in her mind, trying to figure out exactly how to explain everything to him. She kept thinking about what he'd done for her for all these years, which brought a smile to her face.

After about 20 minutes, she heard a knock on the door. Answering it, she pointed toward the table near the window, as the server brought the cart into the room. The server rolled the cart to the table and started putting the food on it.

The noise had awoken Leonard and he looked confused. Penny walked over to him, brushed his hair back and said, "Sweety, I ordered breakfast, and he's putting it out now. Why don't you go wash your face, and get ready to eat."

Leonard got up and headed toward the bathroom. Penny folded the blanket and put the pillows in their original places. While she did that, the server finished putting everything on the table. Penny signed for the food, added a hefty tip, and the server left.

Penny poured two cups of coffee, and waited for Leonard to return. When he did, Penny said, "Sweety, let's eat first, then we have some more talking to do." Before Leonard could say anything, Penny continued, "Most of it, I have a feeling, is going to be me this morning."

Leonard nodded and they started putting the food on their plates. While it was a leisurely breakfast, neither of them really talked, except to ask to pass something or other, and so it was less than a half hour, before they had finished. Penny suggested they take a pot of the coffee over to the couch, and they got up, and walked to the couch. Their cups, and the pot of coffee were placed on the table and they both sat down, Penny, Leonard noticed, was sitting closer than she was the previous night.

"OK, Leonard," said Penny, "I said most of this was going to be me talking, but I want to start with something."

Leonard nodded.

"First off, I'm not going to promise I won't think about it ever again. Hell, I still am pissed as the other guys that cheated on me. And I admit, I'm still rather hurt by what happened. That you, of all people, could have done it."

Penny was looking at him, as she continued, "I think you know why this bothered me so much, but let me run through it. Kurt, I caught in the middle of having sex, in our bed. Mike, was in bed with another woman so fast, I figured he was cheating before we broke up. Ahh…ummm…shit, I can't remember his name. Remember the guy and the woman in the restaurant on Valentine's day?"

Leonard, again nodded.

"Well," said Penny, "he suggested Gretchen move in with us, cause I told him how she lost her job and had no where to go. He said, since she was a friend of mine, it would be nice of us to have her move in. Turns out, he was already having sex with her, this just put her closer to him."

"You knew most of this," said Penny. "So you knew this was going to upset me. One thing that bothered me so much, is that it took you two years to tell me. Why didn't you just tell me when you came back? It seems so innocent. I could understand what happened, and you stopped it. Why not tell me when you got back?"

Leonard looked at her, took a sip of coffee, then said, "Penny, you were still pretty weird about the whole Alex thing, even just before I left. And, even now, look how you reacted on hearing the name of the girl I kissed. I didn't want to say anything and get you angry, especially not after I just got back. Since it wasn't a big thing, I just left it there."

"Then why tell me now?" said Penny. "'You kept it from me for two years, so it seems like something you could have kept from telling me."

"But you said no regrets and I didn't want to keep secrets," said Leonard. "And you agreed. But you may be right about sabotaging us getting married, after all, I don't feel worthy sometimes."

"What do you mean?" asked Penny.

"You know what I mean," said Leonard. "I never thought I measured up to any of the guys you used to go out with. Why would you want to marry me? I'm not like them. I'm not handsome, I'm not athletic, I'm not into a lot of things you are, you certainly aren't into a lot of my things. So, instead of waiting for you to run off with someone else, I tell you and you don't marry me."

"Leonard," Penny said sadly, "you are very handsome, in your own way. Athletic? Except for exercising, when have I really done anything athletic, except for here and there? Not into things? You watch shows with me, that I know you don't really enjoy, but do enjoy being with me. It's the same for me, and you know it rubs off. Look at you knowing about all the Downton Abbey characters, or me know about Star Wars last year."

"Not only that, did you forget that they all treated me very badly? That they took advantage of me? And the others actually cheated on me. While I'm not happy about what happened, you did stop, something the other guys didn't do. Even after this, I trust you to be telling the truth about this."

"And, you're right, you're not like the other guys," said Penny. "Besides cheating, Kurt lived off of me. I paid for our apartment, the food, and bills. Even when he was working, he kept his money. Mike didn't want to go out, unless I was paying for it. All those places he wrote about? They were places we went because I was paying. And that guy…dammit…what the hell was his name, the one that wound up screwing Gretchen. He had a place and kept telling me he didn't want me to move in with him, so I could save money. But, he was more than happy to help Gretchen, when she needed to save money."

"What did you do, to make you different from the other guys? Pay for mine, or share your food, so I could eat. At different times, you helped pay my electric, cable, water, bills, when I couldn't. You let me sponge off of your internet. You bought me tickets to go home when I couldn't pay for the trips. You were always there if I needed someone to talk to. Those other guys never did those things for me. You took care of me, the other guys didn't."

"And before you screwed someone, you stopped. So you don't have to worry about me leaving you, because you don't measure up to the other guys. They don't measure up to you, that's one of the reasons why I love you. "

Leonard was nodding and smiling.

"Leonard, you don't have to nod all the time, you can tell me yes."

"Sorry," said Leonard, looking down, embarrassed.

"So, please don't tell me you don't measure up, or aren't like them. That is a good thing, and because you aren't like them, they don't measure up to you. So, please don't ever come up with that excuse again."

"Anyway, although I have nothing to tell you about while you were gone, I do have a few things that I should tell you, as far as no regrets and not keeping secrets." Penny paused, not sure how to continue. Then she thought of something to connect everything. "Leonard, do you remember the comment I made when you said you didn't know how the kissing started, and I didn't believe it?"

"Yeah, and?"

"I do understand how something like that could happen."

"Then why did you get so angry about that?" asked Leonard.

Penny looked down, "Because it didn't occur to me until just now. And now I feel guilty about it."

"About what?"

"About that night with Raj," said Penny.

"But why?" asked Leonard. "We weren't dating. I had a girlfriend. There wasn't nothing for you to feel guilty about."

"I know all that," said Penny. "But, we really haven't talked about it. I also saw your face when we came out of the hallway. I know I hurt you. So, anything that led to that, I feel guilty about. Anyway, about the only thing I remember about that night was both of us on the couch, kissing. When we were kissing, I didn't remember starting to kiss him, and I was wondering how it got started. So, it was a lot like you said happened."

"But, except for the kissing, I don't remember anything until I woke up the next morning. When I opened my eyes, I realized I was in your room, in your bed, and I was happy, until I saw the arm draped over me and knew it wasn't yours."

"I tried to get out of there," said Penny, "only to get caught in the living room. I know you know we didn't actually have sex, but you don't know that it was only because he couldn't control himself."

Leonard started chuckling.

"What's so funny?" demanded Penny.

"Heheheheeh, I figured something like that happened," said Leonard.

"Why?"

"Well, you called him quickdraw."

Penny started, then looked at Leonard with her mouth hanging open. "You mean you heard that?"

"I didn't know for sure you meant it that way," admitted Leonard. But, I did take the comment that way, so I didn't worry about what happened after that."

"So I've been worrying for nothing," said Penny, "for four years?"

"Pretty much, yeah" chuckled Leonard.

"Damn it," said Penny.

"Anything else?" asked Leonard.

"Yeah, there is one other thing," said Penny in a low voice.

"What is it?" asked Leonard.

"Before I tell you," said Penny, "I want you to know, I didn't mean to keep this from you. But, things changed so quickly for me, that I just felt it better not to say anything."

"Sort of like my not saying anything about the kiss?"

"Well, now that you mention it, yeah," said Penny. "I didn't think of it that way, but it's close to being the same." Penny lowered her head, "I'm sorry Leonard. I've been doing the same thing I got mad at you for doing."

"Well, since I know why I did it, I'm not upset. But, why are YOU telling me now? Are you not wanting to marry me, because you're afraid I don't want to marry you?"

"No, of course not," said Penny. "I believed you when you said you weren't looking for someone else. And, your explanation is believable. I just feel if you can be honest like you were, I should be honest with you."

"You sure it's not because you want to get out of marrying me?" he chuckled. "You don't have to…"

"Yes, I do, Leonard," said Penny seriously. "I know you're kidding, but I have to tell you for myself, so I have no regrets, and no secrets, and no, it's not a way to get out of marrying you. This is the last thing I can think of, during the time we've been together, and I just think you should know."

"Okay," said Leonard, "so, tell me."

"Do you remember the guy I was doing a project with?" asked Penny. "In the history course."

"Yes, what about him?"

"You remember how you accused him of hitting on me?" said Penny.

"Yeah, you said he wasn't?" said Leonard. "Wait, are you saying you knew he was hitting on you?"

"No, Leonard," said Penny, looking steadily at Leonard. "He didn't start hitting on me. I started flirting with him."

Leonard looked at Penny. "You? When?"

"Yes," said Penny, "I started it, and I'm so sorry Leonard. You knew, at that time, I was unsure about our relationship. I didn't want to talk about it. I even thought about telling you about my worries, but I couldn't bring myself to tell you."

"But, you got over that."

"Not really," said Penny. "At first, it was more I got jealous of the other Alex Jensen. I told you I saw her flirting with you in the cafeteria that first day. Then Amy and Bernadette told me to take more of an interest in your work. When I did, I started feeling better about us."

"But before that started," Penny continued, "I had worked with Cole before, when the teacher had us break into groups for an in-class project. That's why we did the report together. It wasn't really serious as I was more or less just goofing around and he wasn't responding, at first. Then he started flirting back and we just kept it up."

"There was still nothing serious on my side," said Penny. "I want to make that clear. I was just having some fun, I liked the attention. Then, he started getting serious, and when you accused him of it, I got mad, because I felt like you had caught ME. Then, when you talked to him, I was afraid you found out I was the one that started the flirting."

"After I ran off, I thought about things over the next couple of days," said Penny. "At first, I was pissed because I felt you were always getting jealous over nothing. Of course, in this case I was flirting, so there was a something to get jealous about, which just made me madder."

"Yeah," said Leonard, "I know I had that problem. But, as you've seen, it's still there, and in this case, there was something there."

"I know," sighed Penny, "and that was my fault. I should be quicker to shut down other guys or should know better not to even start something like that. I guess it's like how you felt about Alex, I felt good about the attention. I will tell you, I quit flirting with Cole, actually went so far as to quit talking to him after the 'I love you' in the hallway. I didn't feel worried about our relationship, after that, I also didn't want anyone else. It was like saying that got rid of all my doubts."

"Well," said Leonard, "is that it then?"

"It's everything for me," said Penny. "At least during any time we were together."

"You want to tell me all about those times we weren't together?" asked Leonard with a smirk.

"Good god, no." said Penny. "You want to tell me how things went between you and Priya, or maybe that slutty professor?"

"No, I don't," chuckled Leonard. The he got serious, "So where do we go from here?"

"I'm not sure," said Penny. I think I can get by this. After all, we weren't engaged, you stopped, you were even honest enough to finally tell me. But, we can't let anything like this happen again."

"Yeah, we can't. But, how do you propose we do that?"

"I think we have to lay out some ground rules, before we get married," said Penny. "We have to be honest enough with each other, that if things aren't working, we tell each other about it. I don't think it's fair to either of us, if the other cheats. Look, if the problems are serious enough, and we can't solve them, we should just end things and move on. We may not be happy that the other is thinking about something like that, but before going out with someone else, we should at least respect the other enough to end it, first. Can we agree with that?"

Leonard nodded, "I'll point out it wasn't because there were problems that this happened."

"I know, I know," said Penny. "If something like that happens again, how about we make a rule that we have to say something right away, not wait two years or more in my case."

"That sounds good," said Leonard. "It that it, then?"

"I think so," said Penny. "Since we have that solved, do you think we should talk about whether we should get married today?"

"As much as I've wanted to get married to you for nine years," said Leonard, "I don't think it would be a good idea, right now."

"I have to agree with you," said Penny. "This has been rough and maybe we should just not do it now, let things settle down. Give us some time to figure out some things about when and where."

"And," said Leonard. "I don't really want to get married in Vegas. No matter how good the memories of you and I getting married here would be, there would still also be that little thought, that would always pop up, that you and Zack got married here too."

Penny gasped, "I didn't even think about that. No, we are not getting married here."

"Agreed, then," said Leonard. "And, do I assume we're aren't going to talk about the wedding?"

"God, no," said Penny. "We'll wait until we get back. Although we did decide on a few things before coming here, remember in the apartment? After a couple of weeks, we can start some planning, or at least start looking at things."

"You sure you're okay with waiting?"

"Are you sure?" asked Penny.

"Yes," said Leonard, "I'm sure for now."

"For now, yeah," said Penny. "And we have to agree to bring it up. If we don't talk about it for a couple of week, one of us had to mention it. We can't let things slide by, like we have for the last year."

"Agreed," said Leonard. "Although after this, I can't see us going for long without mentioning it."

"I think you are right," said Penny. "So what do we do for the rest of the day?"

"I don't know," said Leonard. "What do you want to do?"

Penny reached for his hand. "Well, we can go out and lay by the pool for a while. I know, I know, you need sunscreen. But, before we do that, how about we go get some make up sex in?"

"Sound's good to me," said Leonard wth a large grin, standing and pulling Penny up with him, leading her to the bedroom.


	6. Epilogue

**A/N I let you get reading, see note at the end.**

 **Epilogue**

They had been on the road for just over an hour and had crossed back into California. They hadn't talked very much as Penny had spent most of the trip, so far, doing the same thing she had done on the way there, looking out of the passenger window.

Leonard was thinking about their dinner the previous night, winning almost $5,000 playing craps, sex last night, and this morning, packing and finally, leaving, just before noon. But, Penny not saying anything was making him a bit anxious, and after another fifteen or so minutes spoke up.

"Penny," he said, "what are you thinking about? All you've been doing is looking out the window, just like you did on the way up here, and you're scaring me."

Penny turned to him, and said, "You sure you want to talk about it."

Now he was really nervous, "About what?"

"Well," she said, "I've been thinking."

"I gathered that," said Leonard. "Are you turning into me, overthinking things?"

Penny smiled at him and said, "You know how, on Friday we settled on the wedding being a small, indoor, black-tie, church wedding?"

"I thought we weren't going to talk about it," said Leonard.

"Who's talking about it?" said Penny. "I said I was thinking about it."

Leonard shook his head, looking puzzled. "Ok, you're thinking about it, what are you thinking about."

"Well," she started, "you know how we said two friends each? I mean there's Howard and Bernadette, Sheldon and Amy, Raj, Stuart, that's six right there, not even counting our other friends at work. Even if we just invite the group, that wouldn't even leave room for any family."

"You want family?"

"Yeah," said Penny, "don't you?"

"My mother?"

"You could invite your dad to offset your mother," said Penny, "and speaking of mothers, we should invite Sheldon's mother too. And I can talk Sheldon into coming, if we hold it outside. There's that park just down the street from us, we could hold it there."

"Hold on Penny," said Leonard. "So, we have the group come, that's six; my mother and father, two more; Sheldon's mother, another one' and who are you planning on coming from your family?"

"Probably my mother, father, and my brother, he has be supervised" said Penny. "I don't think my sister will come, not with the baby."

"So, we have a total of twelve people," said Leonard. He thought for a second, "That's still sounds small enough."

"And, we can have everyone come back to the apartment for a small reception," said Penny. "But, I'm thinking that because it's in the park, we won't have a black tie then."

"That's fine," said Leonard. "We can think of something to wear, but I guess you won't be wearing white."

Penny slapped his arm, "Hey, I can still wear white, just off white, way off white, maybe beige. You could wear a suit or sport coat. Anyway, I thought of asking Amy to officiate, she was one of us five that did Howard and Bernadette's wedding. I'm thinking of Bernadette as my matron of honor and I'm sure you're going to have Sheldon be your best man, right? And I was thinking we could have it during the day on New Year's Eve."

"Penny?" said Leonard in a questioning voice.

"Yes," said Penny.

"I thought we weren't going to talk about the wedding," said Leonard.

"Were not talking about it," said Penny. "I'm telling you what I was thinking about, concerning the wedding."

"Sure, sure," said Leonard. "Sure you are."

"I am," said Penny defensively, "I'm not trying to plan anything…."

"Penny?" said Leonard.

"Yes?" said Penny.

"I love you," said Leonard, smiling at her.

Penny smiled back, "Thank you, I love you too."

 **A/N I had a much longer chapter penned (about 2,000 words), but it was very disjointed and just seemed off. So, I cut all that and went with this shorter version. What's here is the main reason for the epilogue (and something I've had, almost from the start, so I concentrated on this. Most of Leonard's thinking in the second paragraph, is what all the rest of it was about. I'm glad I finally came back and finished this. On to the trip to Nebraska with "The In-Law Initiation: Penny". I've been working on that off and on. After that, is something I've been planning for a while, I'm hoping to keep it to half the length of "Chew Toy", but we'll see. To keep from what happened here, and with "Chew Toy" (Long time before finishing), I want to have it almost done before I start to publish. Thanks for reading. See you soon.**


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